i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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