Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
