I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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