We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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