Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
