Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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