dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
