Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
