gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
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my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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