at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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