I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
