u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
