Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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