Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
