U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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