Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
