And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize