I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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