Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
