He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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