Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
