I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
