Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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