I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
