he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
