You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
