Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
