Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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