i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
