What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
