I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
