when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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