If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
