ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
