Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
