All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
