ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
