I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
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No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize