Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
