I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize