Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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