Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
