this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
