I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
