I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
