so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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