u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize