Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love having hate sex.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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