remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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