OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My vagina is officially offended.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night