I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
