I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize