Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
