ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
