my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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