Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
