i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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